Kathryn has kindly agreed to share her experience of her mum’s funeral, which took place during lockdown.
“I lost my mum to Covid on 2 January. I knew about direct cremation but didn’t think it was quite right for my mum’s send off, so I went with a ceremony at a crematorium.
There was a strict capacity limit at the crematorium, which meant we could only invite a small percentage of the people who wanted to come. In addition, many of mum’s closest friends could not attend as they were shielding.
The funeral went ahead, and we tried to honour mum the best we could, but we felt very rushed as the crematorium was very busy. There was a live stream available for those who couldn’t attend to watch, but it was very low quality, and you couldn’t hear all of what was being said. Finally, we couldn’t go somewhere afterwards to remember mum with those she loved and cared for.
As a result, I felt we didn’t give mum the send-off she deserved, despite spending well over £3,000. For me it became more of an expensive formality and didn’t honour mum nearly as much as she deserved.
Consequently, we have decided to hold a celebration of life when it is safe to get everyone together. Mum was well liked by many and a total character, so it is important that everyone gets to share their memories and love for her. We want it to be a very big event so we can invite everyone. We will have to save but I don’t care as I need to do what is right for mum.
In hindsight, I should have given direct cremation more thought, especially considering the costs involved as I have paid in full for a funeral that could only be attended by a small number and now I will be paying for a celebration of life as well. I’m happy to spend as much money as it takes on mum but holding a funeral with the current restrictions in place just didn’t feel like the best thing for her or us.”
Want to know more about direct cremation?
Direct cremation is a cremation with no mourner’s present. It has been the choice for people looking for a modern alternative as it allows families more time to arrange a memorial or celebration that is much more personal to the deceased.
Caledonia Cremation is a charity-run funeral directors who offer not-for-profit direct cremation across Scotland. We also offer emotional and practical support throughout the whole process including applying for financial support.